What is the best love story you can come up with in two sentences?

Standard

What is the best love story you can come up with in two sentences? by @dhawalbarot

Answer by Dhawal Barot:

Here I go,

Story 1 –

To make her blush, he pulled out her hair stick, saying, "You look beautiful in open hair."

And she blushed, her cheeks flushed crimson with love, again!

Story 2 –

"What is that?", he said as he pointed to an empty wall. And with a peek on her cheek, he kissed her.

And she just fell for the same trick. Again. And twice in a row!!

Story 3 –

“Cigarette or kiss? You’ve to choose today!” She snarled as she demanded.

From that moment on, he found a new addiction to life. Her lips.!!

Story 4 –

He was like the president of anti-photogenic club.

But after the first couple of photographs with her, he installed Instagram.

Story 5 –

She prayed.

And, he prayed for her prayers.

Story 6 –

Once again, she ordered pizza and thrashed it into the dustbin.

After all, she had requested for the special delivery guy whom she had a huge crush on. Not the pizza.

Story 7 –

He hated coffee. But, just ordered another for both of them anyways.

Deep down he knew, it was to buy more time to be with her.

Story 8 –

In the literature of life, she wrote poems.

But, he wrote her.

Story 9 –

They broke up.

But she kept giving respect to every name similar to his.

Story 10 –

Both exchanged books.

The roses inside each book giggled.

Story 11 –

Somewhere, between “I need you” to “I want you”;

She realized that she started loving him, desperately!

Story 12 –

She clicked “Unblock” and squeezed “Add friend”.

Love – 1 Misunderstanding – 0

What is the best love story you can come up with in two sentences?

Good Job!

Standard

Terence Fletcher: I told you that story about how Charlie Parker became Charlie Parker, right?

Andrew Neiman: Yup, jo jones threw a cymbal at his head.

Terence Fletcher: Exactly. Parker’s a young kid, pretty good on the sax. Gets up to play at a cutting session… and he fucks it up. And Jones nearly decapitates him for it. And he’s laughed off-stage. Cries himself to sleep that night but the next morning, what does he do? He practices. And he practices and he practices with one goal in mind: Never to be laughed at again. And a year later, he goes back to the Reno… And he steps up on that stage and he plays the best motherfucking solo the world has ever heard. (beat) So imagine if Jones had just said: “Well, that’s okay Charlie. Eh… that was alright. Good job.” Then Charlie thinks to himself, “Well, shit. I did do a pretty good job.” End of story, no “Bird.” That, to me, is… an absolute tragedy. But that’s just what the world wants now! People wonder why jazz is dying. (beat) I’ll tell you man. And every Starbucks “jazz” album just proves my point, really. There are no two words in the English language more harmful… Than “good job.”

 

Which are the most clichéd scenes in Indian movies?

Standard

Which are the most clichéd scenes in Indian movies!!

Answer by Jitender S Bhatia:

Cliches~

  • Rocky – Spoiled brat.
  • Kishan – Humble sweet guy.
  • Rosy – Vamp.
  • Radha – Saari clad temple bound girl.
  • Ramu Kaka – Faithful family servant.
  • Rich – Arrogant.
  • Poor – Pious.
  • Police Officer – Corrupt or Ultra Upright.
  • Police Constable – Joker. Goofy.
  • Judge – Order Order. Hammer.
  • Lawyer – Drama
  • Businessman – Cigar, Suit
  • Employee – Tie
  • Govt. Employee – File
  • Doctor – Appears only at operation theatre entrance.
  • Nurse – Crisp White. Tray. Injection.
  • Patient – Over Bandaged.
  • College – Picnic spot.
  • Professor – Abnormal.
  • Mother – Teary
  • Father – Stiff
  • Mother-in-Law – Pious or Danger
  • Hero – Hero
  • Heroine – Dances.
  • Hero’s sister – Docile.
  • Villain – Constipated look.
  • Milkman/Driver – Abnormal.
  • Land Line Phone – Very Loud.

Enjoy~

Which are the most clichéd scenes in Indian movies?

How would you react if you were stuck in an elevator with Chetan Bhagat?

Standard

How would you react if you were stuck in an elevator with Chetan Bhagat? by Jitender S Bhatia

Answer by Jitender S Bhatia:

Me: Hi, no security?

Chetan: Ah no.. i am just a writer.

Me: Writer? I have never read anything you wrote though.

Chetan: Really? Not even my newspaper articles?

Me: No.. but good that politicians are writing.

Chetan: I am just a writer – no politician.

Me: You look different on TV though.

Chetan: Really? Dude.. do you even recognise me?

Me: Of-course. You are Rahul Gandhi.

Chetan: <Long Silence> I am Chetan Bhagat.

Me: <Awkward Silence – serious face>

The Lift halts at a random floor.

A foreign lady gets in.

Lady: Ooooooh! Shaitaan… Shaitaan Bucket !

Chetan: <Silence – looks at me sideways>

Me: <Trying to correct her> Actually he is…

Lady: <interrupts> Oh so he is not Shaitaan Bucket? Good. Junk writer anyway hehe.

Chetan: <Awkward Silence>

Me: <looks at the floor – innocent face – suppressed laughter>

The Lift halts. Doors open

Chetan rushes out.

Lady: Who is he?

Me: He is indeed The Chetan Bhagat. Yes.

Lady: OMG.. <rushes out>

I see Chetan running with The Lady after him shouting: Hey Shaitaan Shaitaan!

I collapse with laughter on the lift floor as the doors close.

How would you react if you were stuck in an elevator with Chetan Bhagat?

What is the best Facebook post that you’ve ever seen?

Standard

Answer by Raunak Singhi:

This is a joke I have read on Facebook and pasted on Quora on other answer, copied it .Don't remember the source:

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775,' he said.

'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?''

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'F ___ the Indians'

'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?' Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George H. W. Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997.'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.' Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, 'Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.'

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!' And Chandrasekhar said quietly, 'I think it was Lehman Brothers, September 15th, 2008'.

What is the best Facebook post that you've ever seen?

Why are some Indians so furious about the BBC documentary ‘India’s Daughter’? Why did the government of India ban this documentary film?

Standard

Answer by Suchi Dey:

I think I can tell you exactly why! But first, let me tell you a story…

A couple of days back, I hired an Uber cab to go to a mall in Calcutta to meet some friends. The journey was about 40 minutes long and I was travelling alone. About 20 minutes into my journey, the driver asked me, "Madam, would you mind giving me a 5 star rating for this trip?"
 I said, "No, I don't mind. I will. But why do you ask suddenly?"

He replied with a sad, long face, "Madam, a few days back two lady passengers gave me extremely poor rating, dropping my rating to 2 stars."
When I asked why, this is what he said..
"At around 11.30 PM, I picked up two lady passengers from Quest mall. They were both extremely drunk. One was falling over the other. They sat in the car and started talking about their personal stuff aloud. They were talking about things that made me uncomfortable as a man. But that was still okay. Then they opened up cans of beer and started smoking too. I warned them.. "unko bola, yeh sab nahi chalega gaadi me" but they did not listen.

At one point, it was enough for me. I asked them to stop immediately or I would call Uber office and get their accounts blocked. Then they got angry and started calling me idiot, stupid and what not. They cursed me in english too. (In his thick Bihari accent it sounded funny to an extent, but I saw him weigh his every single word and it made drop dead sense)

Then I asked him, "what did you do then?"
He said, "I made myself to drop them till their home. I did not want to. But still, I did."

I'm sure you get the point of the story. That was my taste of a featured interview with an Indian man.

You ask why India is furious?? Here's why –

On International Women's day, the entire world is going to see a highly skewed picture of India and Indian men. Our men are not male chauvinists. They are supportive to women in equal measure. They are rational, responsible, sensible, protective and sensitive. We all know it, we all live and laugh with them. India's daughters' don't give a fuck about what a rapist has to say about men, women and culture. They just want him to be hanged!

Thanks for A2A.
—————————————————————————
EDIT:
Thanks all of you for sharing your responses and opinions.
This is a very sensitive issue – the issue of rape. Hence, I will cut short my response within limits of reasoning and statistics, not allowing for any emotional bias.

Okay, so you all are justified in all of your concerns. I have them too.

I said the documentary presents a "highly skewed" picture of India and Indian mentality perpetuating rapes.
Some people said, "No! Indian men and their mentality alone are majorly responsible for rapes."

I have nothing but some statistics to highlight here.

Guess which country is the rape capital of the world? It's one of our fav. countries.I'll tell you- it's USA.

"In India, a country of over 1.2 billion people, 24,206 rapes were reported in 2011.  The same year in the United States, a nation of 300 million, 83,425 rapes were reported. In the United States, every 6.2 minutes a woman is raped."

Source: www.more.com, India not ‘rape capital of the world’

Moreover,India with its sick mentality and chauvinist men seem to take the issue of rape pretty seriously. Here you go…

"According to the Guardian, just 7% of reported rapes in the U.K. resulted in convictions during 2011-12. In Sweden, the conviction rate is as low as 10%. France had a conviction rate of 25% in 2006. Poor India, a developing nation with countless challenges, managed an impressive 24.2% conviction rate in 2012. That’s thanks to the efforts of a lot of good people — police, lawyers, victims and their families — working heroically with limited resources."

Source: TIME MAGAZINE ARTICLE: Why Rape Seems Worse in India Than Everywhere Else (but Actually Isn’t) | TIME.com

India features nowhere in the list of Top ten countries with highest rates(r/100,000) of rape.This statistic gives a clearer picture than if we see the total number of reported rapes, as the total goes higher with the population.

Source: http://www.statisticbrain.com/ra…

I would rather like to see few more documentaries along with this one, namely "USA's daughters" and of course "UK's daughters".

Finally, about the ban.
Well, when my nation's and half of its population's image is dragged and stretched to fit stereotypes. I am certainly not okay.
BBC airs its shows on radio, TV and other mass reaching media outlets. Some of our countrymen unfortunately are not educated enough to debate and discuss like us. They might take it in a way which is unhealthy, hatred-prone and anti-social. Why take that risk when frankly the video gave us nothing new, except a rapist narrating his story as the voice of Indian mindset.
I support the ban. That's my opinion. You all are free.

This would be my only edit as I see no point in stretching a sensitive issue beyond a respectable point.

Why are some Indians so furious about the BBC documentary 'India's Daughter'? Why did the government of India ban this documentary film?

Jo lehron se aage nazar dekh paati toh tum jaan lete main kya sochta hoon

Standard

Har Baal Ki Khaal Ki yeh Chhaal bhi kha Jaaye
Iske Haat Pad Jaaye Toh Mahine Saal Bhi Kha Jaaye
Kisi Behaal Ka Bacha Haal woh haal Kha Jaaye
Bemaut Marate Mann Ka Yeh Malaal Kha Jaaye
Laalu Ka Laal Kha Jaaye Naksalbaari Ki Naal Kha Jaaye
Bachpan Ka Dhamaal Kha Jaaye, Budhaape Ki Shaal Kha Jaaye
Haya Toh Chhodo Behaya Ki Chaal Bhi Kha Jaaye
Aur Agar Parosha Jaa Sake Toh Khayaal Bhi Kha Jaaye


 

Jo lehron se aage nazar dekh paati toh tum jaan lete main kya sochta hoon,
Wo aawaz tumko bhi jo bhed jaati toh tum jaan lete main kya sochta hoon.
Zid ka tumhare jo parda sarakta ,khidkiyon se aage bhi tum dekh paate,
Aankhon se aadaton ki jo palken hatate toh tum jaan lete main kya sochta hoon.

Meri tarah hota agar khud par zara bharosa toh kuchh door tum bhi saath-saath aate,
Rang meri aankhon ka baant-te zara sa ,toh kuchh door tum bhi saath-saath aate,
Nasha aasmaan ka jo choomta tumhe , hasraten tumhari naya janm paatin,
Khud doosre janam mein meri udaan chhoone kuchh door tum bhi saath-saath aate.

Where can I find happiness?

Standard

Answer by Prayag Sonar:

Whenever I feel depressed in my life,I used to open my E-Mail inbox to find happiness and I find:

  • 10 banks are giving me easy loans up to 25 Lakhs.
  • I have won GBP 10000000 and USD 500000 for unknown reasons.
  • 15 companies having the best jobs for me.
  • 5 matrimonial sites have the most suited matches for me.
  • Dr. Batra has claimed that he will cure my hair fall.
  • 3 universities are giving me degrees in random subjects.
  • Online retailers are giving me discounts up to 70% on all products.
  • Debit & credit card companies assuring me best offers on shopping,movie,travel & food.
  • Fairness cream has promised to turn me glow in 7 weeks.
  • And approximate 40-50 mails from Priya, Payal and Neha who are feeling lonely and want to meet me.What else do I want in my life?

Where can I find happiness?